Social Anxiety Isn't Your Fault

A major lesson learned, as I thoughtfully listened to Dr. Richards' voice guiding me along my path to recovery, is that social anxiety isn't my fault. And it isn't yours either.

Now before you jump to conclusions and think this is about playing the blame game, read on. It is actually not about placing blame, as much as it is taking the blame off of ourselves, and putting it outside ourselves where it belongs.

Think of it this way: none of us were born thinking the worst of ourselves. We weren't born with low self-esteem. We weren't born thinking we weren't good enough. We weren't born thinking we were less than perfect beings. We heard it and learned it from other people. And as we learned it, we began to believe it. And as we came to believe it, we owned it. And through our ownership of it, it is what we became.

To realize social anxiety really isn't my fault gave me a sense of relief, self-acceptance and hope. I had never thought of it in that way, but it rang true with me and finally began making sense.

And although we may recognize one or more major figures in our lives that contributed to our having social anxiety and the depression that comes with it (the two go hand in hand you know; but that is for another post) it doesn't mean we need to focus on blame, which just fuels anger and resentment.

We are on a quest to heal. If we stay in a place of blame, we will only stay in a place of blame and why focus on something we can't change?

I didn't ask for social anxiety.

I didn't choose to have social anxiety.

But what I can ask for is help to overcome it.

And what I choose, is to be whole again.