Controlling automatic negative thoughts

A major obstacle in overcoming social anxiety begins with the ability to turn away from automatic negative thinking. That's what I'm really working on right now.

Every time a thought pops into my mind about dreading something or anticipating anxiety over something I quickly try to put a stop to it. I try to distract myself by repeating a rational thought statement and concentrating on an activity, singing a song or doing something else.

I have caught myself several times this morning flashing with dread upon an upcoming staff meeting. In a few weeks I have a large staff meeting where I will have to introduce myself and will very likely be put on the spot during other team building activities. Since I already know this, I'm trying to rationally prepare for it, while not turning it into an event I dread, with anxiety-filled anticipation.

As soon as it flashes in my mind, within seconds the old me says "I'll make up an excuse and just won't go"...and then the new me says, "Yes, you will go and you will be fine." It's a bit of a tug-of-war.

And when one automatic negative thought tries to take over, another comes behind it. My mind almost immediately starts searching out any other potential threats. For example, someone is teaching my class at church for me for the next two weeks. I know I'll have to give her something to thank her for it. That means I'll have to go to her house and drop it off. That means I'll have to talk to her when I go to thank her. As I write, I know how ridiculous it sounds to dread something as small as talking with someone, but I know I have gotten anxious around her in the past and now it is what I anticipate happening again. But I can't let myself anticipate that or it will pull me down and I will end up making it true.

I've got to figure out how not to dread things. Dreading only makes everything worse. Dread is the the hero of automatic negative thoughts because it not only listens to these thoughts, it celebrates them, builds them up and lets them dominate until the dread has left its thinker feeling completely hopeless and immobile.

I won't give into these lying automatic negative thoughts, but to do so takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of energy. It has to be a conscious choice. Every day I feel the work that is involved in turning my thoughts away from the negative anxious thoughts that come so easily into my mind. I can only hope that as I continue to turn away from these thoughts that it will become easier and I will begin to naturally turn away without as much energy or focus. That feels good. And so I continue on.