Hearing from one of you dear readers in the midst of a struggle, tugged at my heart strings. There are days when it hits us so hard. There are times we can't possibly see a way out. We watch hope slip away until it's so small it disappears.
It is at those times it helps, even a little, to know we're not alone. There are other people who feel just the way you do.
I would like to share 4 things I've learned over the course of this year that have helped me along the way. Has my social anxiety been cured? No. Drat! But have these things helped? Yes. And I hope they help you as well.
Accept Yourself, quirks and all
One
thing that has helped me is to accept myself as I am, right where I am.
Worrying about how I don't measure up to everyone else, or how I don't
fit the description of what being a good Mormon is, does me no good.
Focusing on accepting myself as I am, right where I am? That works. - I don't like going to parties or social events, and that's okay.
- I don't go to enrichment, and that's okay.
- I attend church as much as I feel I can, and that's okay.
- I may turn down a calling or talk assignment if I'm not up for it, and that's okay.
- I may be quiet in a group, and that's okay.
- I'm not comfortable volunteering to feed the missionaries, and that's okay.
You get the picture. It's okay to be who we are, quirks and all. Even if we would like to improve or overcome certain things, we should accept ourselves as we are, right where we are. We wouldn't say to someone else, "It's not okay to be like that". So we shouldn't say it to ourselves. We are doing our best with what we have and what we know.
Your effort is good enough
Thank goodness Heavenly Father isn't like Dr. Phill who tells people just to, "get over it". The one person we always have
on our side? Heavenly Father. He knows us individually. I've had my own
experiences and have seen other people's experiences, that make that
undeniable.The Lord knows your struggles with social anxiety. He knows how hard it is for you to go to church. How much it pains your heart not to be able to go. Does that mean He gives you a free pass never to go back? No. (drat!) Just kidding. But your efforts, no matter how small do not go unnoticed by Him. He is the one person who truly knows your heart.
My new mantra is a quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley:
“Try a little harder to be a little better.”
Did he say, "Get over it!!"?? No. He acknowledges our struggles and simply tells us to try a little harder. Do a little more than you did last time.
Little strides. That is doable for me.
The Lord knows our intentions. He knows we would be at church if we could. I've missed many Sundays because of my social anxiety. But I've also made myself go, even when it was difficult. Whatever you are able to do, whether you only attend 1 meeting or stay for all 3, the Lord appreciates and acknowledges your effort.
And remember, like attracts like. If I stay away for weeks, it's easier to stay away for another week, and another. If I go back one week, I'm more "able" to go back another week and another.
If you go three weeks in a row and have a set back? So be it! It will be harder to return the next Sunday, but what's important is that you're improving.
Small strides.
Priesthood Blessings
Telling
my husband about my social anxiety opened a door for me. Even though he
doesn't really understand how I feel, he can sympathize with me. It
hurts him to see me unhappy or struggling.There have been many times when my anxiety takes over and I don't think I can go to church or go through with a calling I've been given.
It's in those times when I need more power than I have alone, to overcome my anxious feelings. And I ask my husband for a priesthood blessing. It has always pulled me through. Always. A peace washes over me and I can repeat the words from the blessing in my mind and picture the Lord standing beside me.
If a Priesthood Blessing becomes a Saturday night ritual in order to give you power to get through Sunday? Let it be! The Lord doesn't limit His connection with us. We're the only ones who can do that.
Callings
I know you're going to think I'm crazy to say this, but having a calling helped push me "above" my anxiety. Are you sitting down? I was called to be a Relief Society teacher. (Gasp!) I know. Complete insanity. But you know what's more insane? After taking time to think it over, I decided I would accept it. I would do my best and if it was too much for me, I'd ask to be released.
Oh the agony! Oh the distress! The first time I taught I thought I was going to pass out. I would be the first teacher in the history of Relief Society to either collapse in a heap or run out of the room and never come back.
But I lived to tell. And not only that, but the spirit in the room when I taught that first lesson was incredible. I felt lifted up beyond myself and my own short-comings and shared what the Lord wanted those women to hear.
The Lord lifted me above my anxiety to bring to pass His work. It was difficult, but I've never felt such pure inspiration as I did while I prepared and taught the lessons. I felt my social anxiety dim. I felt more confident. I was able to go to church more often. I even felt its effects in my personal and work life. Not to say I didn't need countless Priethood blessings (they were my saving grace), and after a year I did ask to be released because it did become more than I could do, but it was an experience of trusting in the Lord, that I'll never forget.
Am I telling you to ask to be a teacher? Heck no!
What I am saying, is by accepting a calling to serve, *in whatever capacity you feel you can, it will not only give you a reason to be at church, but you will be deeply blessed, in more ways than you know.
I have been given a new calling. One that requires me to be in front of people, but is more doable than teaching. Yes, I have called in sick. Yes, I still have my set-backs. But I know the Lord will help me as I give my best effort, because He's proven that to me time and time again.
Hoping these bits of wisdom I've gained over the past year can help you as well.
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