Monday, October 17, 2011

Excuses: Social Anxiety's best friend

Do you know how many excuses I've made in my lifetime, in the name of social anxiety?

After yesterday's 5,999th excuse to the question, "Are you coming to the ward party?", I realized how tiring it is.

Each excuse has to be realistic. Each excuse has to be believable. Each excuse has to be different enough that no one catches on.

Them: Want to go to dinner?
Me: No, I'm sorry, I have to work late.

Them: Are you coming to the baby shower?
Me: No, I'm sorry, I have to pick someone up from the airport.

Them: Are you coming to the ward party?
Me: No, I have a family event that night.

You name it, I've probably used it. Anything to get out of a social event.

And now I'm faced with my first big work meeting. I've got to think of something. And it's got to be good. And it's got to be long-term.

Them: Are you attending the work meeting?
Me: No, I sorry I can't. I have a long-standing appointment to give blood every Wednesday.

haha No, that won't work. But I'm sure I'll come up with something. I always do.

Post Scriptum:
After I walked away from this blog post, thoughts were running through my head. Something didn't sit right with me. And all at once I realized what it was.

"Excuses is just a friendly word for lies."

Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. Now I realize why it's such a heavy feeling. Whenever I make an excuse, I'm actually telling a lie. And since I've become so good at it, it makes me a good liar. And since I feel really bad when I lie, it makes me feel really guilty.

Ah the cycle of despair. How is it justified?

Heavenly Father knows what I struggle with, but does He also condone lying because of it? I think I have to block it out for now. And I have to hope that He does understand. And maybe as I work to try to rise above all of this, it's part of turning weaknesses into strengths. It's hoping that some day I'll go back to being a really bad liar, with no recent experience.

2 comments:

  1. Good Morning! This morning, at this very moment, I am laying in bed paralyzed with fear (opposite of FAITH) and anxiety while trying to convince myself to GET UP! Get UP!! And go join my husband and 4 beautiful children at church. I've already missed RS...they are heading to Sunday school now. Will I make it to Sacrament Meeting? I need it so badly. Faith or Fear???? Faith+ 1 anti-anxiety pill may = success.
    I am commenting on a post that was written in 2011.....it's now 2013. Dear Author, where are you?

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  2. You are not alone, dear reader! You and I share the same struggles and I know it kills you a little inside every time you don't go to church with your family. I feel the same way.

    Try not to beat yourself up. The Lord knows how you're feeling and He understands that sometimes you just can't go.

    I long for a day that I feel comfortable going to church. However, I'll let you know that all is not lost. I have made strides in my progress. And if I can, then you can too. And I mean it.

    At times I challenged myself to go at least 1ce a month to at least something (usually sacrament b/c it's the least threatening). Then if I'm up for it, I'll do that 2ce in a month or go full busters at 4 times!

    As strange as it sounds, when I started achieving little goals, it took the edge off my guilt and I started feeling more positive.

    Have you talked to your husband about how you're feeling? I hope you have someone to talk to, although it's hard for some people to understand.

    The other thing that helped, as strange as it sounds, was accepting a calling. It helped to give me a reason to be there, even if I did have to "call in sick" every once in a while.

    I accept that I have limitations and it's okay. I accept that I will do only what I'm capable of and even if its small, the Lord will accept my offering b/c he knows how hard it is for me.

    Try not to get down on yourself. I do know how you're feeling and I'm with you on this quest to overcome!! xo

    ReplyDelete

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