Church started 15 minutes ago.
...and I'm either blogging in the back row during sacrament meeting, or at home on my computer feeling guilty for not being there...you decide.
It's always the little things that get me on edge. I intended on going today, but the Relief Society is on the prowl, so I'm opting out.
Delusional? Paranoid? Probably a little of both (ha!) but after two calls from the RS (1st from the secretary last Saturday at 9:30pm - seriously?) and then again yesterday from the President, they're definitely not giving up. I guess the Pres had to take matters into her own hands since I didn't call the secretary back! Sorry, I'll stop grinning. It's such a crazy game of cat and mouse.
They want to visit me and talk to me about visiting teaching. Get in line. Get a number. Get a clue.
In case you're late to the party, in my last post I shared that I opted out from being a visiting teacher at the moment, tho I decided to try having them over for a non-traditional "walking-while-visiting-teaching" visit.
In a nutshell? If I'm being honest, it felt totally forced and awkward. The ladies meant well (don't they always?) but when they arrived, it was almost as if they were scared to enter the front door. It was like, "Ok, we're here! We're trying to act like this isn't weird! We won't bother you! We won't even come in! Let's go for our walk!" AAAAWWWWKKKKWWWWAAAARRRRDDDD
BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then the ironic thing? Neither one of them contacted me again all summer (not that I minded!), and one of them acted like she'd never seen me before when I said hi to her at church. You're dead to me.
I just got an email from the other one last week. Not sure I'll even write back.
WHATEVER!!!!
So now my poor husband had to go to church alone and I feel horrible. When I told him I wasn't going this morning, he was disappointed, but said he "understood" even though he really doesn't understand.
He tried to joke that I was afraid the RS Pres and secretary were going to corner me and I'd have to sneak out, and even though he was trying to lighten the mood, I finally told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore because all it was doing was making me feel bad and more stupid.
And when you say it all out loud? It sounds even more ridiculous than it does in your head. But the pain is real people!
It's the look on his face and the big sigh when I say I'm not going that cuts like a knife. I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I didn't put him in this position. If wishes were fishes. I never really understood that saying.
So in order to avoid another Sunday catastrophe next week, I guess I will call the RS Pres back this week, to explain AGAIN that I'm not up for visiting teaching (such an uncomfortable conversation and why I have to keep having it I'll never know!) and while I'm at it, I might exnay on the visiting teachers. I mean come on, how many more awkward VT walks can a girl take?!
